“Time Heals all Wounds.” is an old turn of phrase.
However If this phrase is true, why do people hold on to guilt, anger and revenge? Why do so many of our young people suffer with depression and anxiety? Why do our elderly battle with pains and afflictions so bad relief is no longer a hope? If “time heals all wounds” then why are so many of our neighbors resorting to heroine on the streets once their drug prescriptions run out? Have you ever know of someone that took their wounds to their grave? What about wounds that cause marriages to result in a divorce due to irreconcilable differences?
“Time heals all wounds”. On the surface this certainly sounds good. However, this ole’ saying is clearly false. Sure, there are many physical examples of this being true, take for example the simple fracture of an arm; the amazing power of the body will mend the broken bone after the doctor sets the proper alignment and within 6-8 weeks (4 weeks with electrical or pulsed laser therapy), voila, the bone is healed.
How about the time you were learning how to ride a bike, or maybe when you went down a steep hill on your skateboard… only to share some blood and skin with the pavement. Once the blood was wiped away, the dirt washed out of the skin and a band-aid placed over the wound, magically a scab would form. Before you know it (time went by) and the scab gave way to new skin. It’s miraculous when you think about it!
However, if a person suffers with a spinal cord injury, like my father when he stepped backward in a store, tripping on a bucket left behind by an employee resulting in a shattered shoulder and severed nerve, no amount of time gone by has healed this wound. To this day he is limited in his ability to fully use his arm and shoulder. Maybe the most we could say is his injury (wound) healed, just not completely back to its original condition. Christopher Reeves, the original superman actor suffered with a spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed and wheelchair bound for life until he passed on some time ago.
As we can see by the above examples, in some cases some wounds heal over time and in other cases the sands of time have run out before the healing was completed. Or did it? What if we are to think of the healing of a wound in a different light? What if there is a higher authority orchestrating the healing of our wounds in a greater context.
I once heard of a powerline worker that while working, fell from high up on a power pole after suffering from a large jolt of electricity. Losing both his lower limbs he was bound the rest of his life to a wheel chair. Many years later he looked back (still in his wheel chair) at all things and events that happened to him over the course of his life and believe it or not he said that he would not have changed a thing that happened, including his disabling injury. Why? Because of the person he became through the experiences he went through.
Wow, talk about turning traumas into treasures and healing wounds. Not too hard to feel sorry for this guy but from the story he tells, sounds like his soul and spirit had a true wound healing. Although the wounds of his physical disability may not have reversed and given us the happy ending we may think is ideal, sounds like he may have used this wound to live a far greater life than he would have otherwise.
The phrase “time heals all wounds” I believe is used more commonly associated with human relations and experiences; In other words, our mental and emotional experiences. When someone is mistreated, or a person has to deal with a loss, death or misfortune, time heals all wounds is spoken with the thought that, given enough time, eventually a person will heal by forgetting an experience or by putting something bad behind them. Certainly over time the wound and its cause may potentially become a distant memory that will have lost its’ charge. In reality if relegated to the back of the mind, that is where the offense and/or wound will remain, in the back of the mind, unhealed waiting to pop up at a later date.
To truly heal one of these wounds will require something greater than time. When life brings us tragic moments, challenging relationships, hardships, betrayal, abuse and inhumane treatment, moments when we may deny the very existence of a God, is exactly the time we need to go deeper. If the wound is deep, ignoring it won’t make it go away; pretending it isn’t there or didn’t happen doesn’t erase it. You can’t heal a deep wound superficially.
Wounds are like ping pong balls. You may try and push the ping pong ball deep into a pool of water; even exert a lot of energy to keep it there; but once you take your hand off the ball it is going to pop up to the surface, again and again and again. It’s life. Till we heal the unhealed, no matter how much time passes by, the wound remains. Not only does it remain, it may spread and affect other areas of our psyche, body, life and relationships. The cost of not dealing with our wounds in a “timely” manner will surely cost us joy in life, loss of love let alone deplete our energy as it takes a lot of work to compartmentalize our wound(s) . To deal with these types of wounds may require the assistance of a counselor, therapist and maybe even medicine to keep a person from harming themselves or another.
In practice I see the results of unhealed wounds and trauma every day. From the young child with autism or sensory integration disorders as a result of a vaccine; to the mild or traumatic brain injuries from auto injuries causing an inability to focus their eyes, thoughts and conversations; to the people so distraught from terrible stressing relationships that they try and take their own life only to find they survived but in a much dire condition; then there is the aging client racked with arthritis in their spine from an accumulation of unhealed micro-traumas piled up over a lifetime.
In all of the above cases, time in and of itself certainly is no healer. The missing variable necessary is a different mind-set or attitude. One such mindset of I have personally found helpful is to have an attitude of gratitude and forgiveness. Also finding the Go(o)d in all things. A saying characterizing what I do professionally would be “I help you turn your traumas into treasures”. In other words your body is an amazing creation of the highest order.
Our wounds of pain and suffering, both physically and emotionally, give us the opportunity to stop, reflect, learn and listen to our bodies. When we do this (whether from the special care we offer in our health and wellness setting or from one of the qualified practitioners in our community) we can heal our wounds and release the memory patterns locked up within our cells and muscles (posture and muscle tension can reveal a lot about a person’s history). Looking at our life situations and wounds from a different, higher, maybe one can say an elevated spiritual perspective, (like standing on the mountain top affords a different perspective then the one at the bottom), allows us the opportunity to awaken to the intricate divine arrangements that feed our spiritual growth and understanding.
In the end it’s not time that heals all wounds, rather it is what we do with our wounds that determines the extent of our healing!